I am the kid who has just moved out-across the country mind you, and is taking on the 'real world' pedal to the medal style. Or so I thought. In my week and a half of living in Florida, it has been a constant struggle to move foreword on so many levels.
A constant struggle to:
write
pray
rejoice
keep a disciplined mind
worship
listen
keep a disciplined mind (yes I know I said that twice)
In an effort to categorize my thoughts a little bit, I'll take the list that I started above and elaborate on each of them. Number one:
A constant struggle to write...I have realized, in the last several years of being in the process of 'coming into myself', I absolutely love to write. The constant struggle that i'm talking about with writing is the lack of inspiration that I seem to have much of the time; Or, the fact that I have so much emotion swirling around in my head and heart that it seems like the most difficult, and sometimes most downright impossible thing to even begin to try and transcribe it onto paper in an eloquent manner.
From a young age, I felt the call of God on my life to write, but I never knew where to start. This in effect, put a standstill on any writing at all. Lack of inspiration, lack of direction, lack of focus...I felt corked. Information streaming in and absolutely no control on a way to have a healthy outlet.
As the years have gone by and I have developed a deeper relationship with God, I feel as though He has helped with many of the issues when it comes to writing. He helps with the inspiration, direction and focus; However, this doesn't go without me asking and sometimes frankly begging for it...My writing is mostly focused on poetry and song lyrics. For some reason, sitting here and writing this blog, or writing an essay is not nearly as easy for me. Many a times, I will feel a pull on my heart about a certain subject, and that leads me to write either a poem or a song about that subject. I love to get deep in the meter of the words. A lot of the time, I will stare at 2 lines of a poem for 30 minutes just to make sure that the phrasing, placement and natural fall of the words is right and is able to convey the urgency and importance of what is on my heart.
With that being said, I know that the Lord is always telling me to be diligent and write. If God gives you a gifting, fan that gift into flame, right? right. But also remember that if God gives you a gifting, you have a certain level of responsibility to practice it. I haven't been consistent in writing, so in turn, I feel like i'm starting from scratch every time I want to write a song or a poem. I have to regroup, ask the Lord to direct my thoughts and emotions and give me FOCUS. A little bit like this blog :), if a piece of literature does not have a focus, it really feels as though the entire point of writing in the first place has been lost. It leaves the reader feeling just as confused as the writer obviously is and lends no advise on how to solve any problems.
A constant struggle to pray:
So I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who feels the constant struggle to maintain a lifestyle of prayer...I know that Jesus is constantly tugging on my heart and whispering into my ear, reminding me in that soft way that he does to pray. I guess what I would say is that I don't necessarily have trouble with not praying, it's that fact that I never feel as though I've put forth enough effort. I will constantly be talking with the Lord throughout the day, but everything around my head feels muddy and there is no focus. I know that prayer is the foundation...LORD! Where is my FOCUS? I want to formulate actual sentences before my Lord so that I may make my requests known to him. The only way I am able to have a coherent prayer, is when I speak it aloud, so I suppose my answer is to set aside time for prayer where I am able to pray aloud...That in itself takes an extremely high amount of discipline...which i'm working on...any suggestions for a way to focus my prayer life from my readers?
aaaannnd...here we go...
A constant struggle to rejoice:
Gosh, WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! I'm blessed, living in the complete favor of the Lord and yet it is a constant struggle to start my day rejoicing. I'm currently reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The book is about the power of being thankful. "As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." I want this to be my mentality. Give thanks in all things, for life is one big gift. The key to our joy is in thanksgiving. The enemy's plan may be to steal, kill and destroy and load me down with depression, but I WILL come out VICTORIOUS!
And here is the big one..the one that seems to tie into all other categories of life.
A constant struggle to keep a disciplined mind:
Can I highlight enough, the importance in keeping your mind focused on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- Philippians 4:8
Good golly i'm just starting to learn the spiritual significance of doing this. But keeping a disciplined mind goes so far beyond just that. Oh how the Lord knows our thought...If I keep my mind pure, the enemy is going to have NO foothold to come in and reek havoc on my life. If a person struggled with keeping their mind off of their self loathing-that is where the enemy is going to attack. At your weakest point. Likewise with lust or greed, or gluttony or anything that we tend to make idols out of. God says "You shall have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:3
For myself, a disciplined mind means no daydreaming, and no allowing myself to sit in a pool of complacency or idleness.
To be idle. Definition: not in use of operation; not kept busy, to be lazy; of no real worth, importance of significance. ~Dictionary.com
If I am not focused, and actively pursuing the Lord's company, it is all too easy for the enemy to swoop in and place an atmosphere of depression over me.
It has been a constant struggle to contend for my peace and take my surroundings and say "No, the enemy does not have reign over this turf. This is my territory and Jesus Christ dwells here." The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak-Mark 14:38 I NEED to exercise my spirit over my flesh and take control of my thoughts and the atmosphere around me. In doing this, in practicing this, it gets easier. Lord give me focus. (That's my constant prayer)
A constant struggle to worship:
Let it be as simple as: Lord, give these worship songs that I have sung thousands of times and listened to thousands of time a new meaning...
If I would just be more diligent with worship. I know that out of the place of intimacy with Jesus, greater things will come. He will give me more revelation, favor, dreams, visions. To be in a constant state of worship is so important. We were created to worship. It's time to explore the depths of what worship is.
A constant struggle to listen:
In my haze of constant thoughts, sometimes it's so hard to just sit and listen. To be still, and listen. If we are always talking, how is God going to get a word in to direct us? Many times the reason God talks to us through our sleep is because we don't give him the time of day. He uses the time of night! My question is constantly "HOW DO I KNOW I CAN HEAR HIM?!" I always get my panties in a wad because I'm thinking to much and i'm not at peace. A saying that really seems to ring true is this: "Peace is the potting soil for revelation." Without peace, there is NO revelation and we're left feeling starved and discouraged that we haven't heard the Lord. GET TO A PLACE OF PEACE. Above ALL else, be at peace.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27 NLT
We do hear his voice. Let it be our prayer. Jesus, teach me to how to listen. But know, if we ask, He will often give us a situation where we will have to listen. That's a good thing. A man does not become wise if he has no experience.
I guess that is about it for this blog. I will try and write more often. I'm going to be obedient and exercise my writing gifting...please comment on here and let me know what you think. I would love this to be an iron sharpens iron thing. That we would be able to share our struggles and share the wisdom of the Lord on how to deal with things.
God bless,
Charisa Faith
Thanks Charisa!
ReplyDeleteMuch of this resonates with what I experienced moving to Chicago several months ago. Same deal. New everything. I was absolutely terrified. It was in those moments where I felt the most helpless where God came through most for me and I learned so much more about Him than I did before. Hang in there. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll start to make your niche.